Goodbye, Robbins
by McDimplesBaby
Summary: Arizona Robbins prepares to leave Grey Sloan Memorial...One final time.


**This was written prior to the season 14 finale of Grey's Anatomy.**

 **Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.**

* * *

 _It's been an experience._ Settling down behind my desk, I glance around and a smile settles on my mouth. This is it. The day I leave everything I've come to know and love. The day I pack up my life, just like when I was a kid, and move on to somewhere new. I don't know what to expect since Seattle has become my home, but I know that Sofia is who matters most to me. I know that she is the only reason I'm breathing. The only reason I'm living and happy. Sofia _is_ my home. So…this is happening. I don't know how or when I realised it, but it's happening. I feel as though its the right thing to do. I feel as though my time has come and Sofia deserves two moms who live close by. I know she has been acting out and I know that Carina wasn't keen on me giving into my daughters wants and demands, but I'm her mom and I have to do what I believe is right. Sure, my daughter has no choice right now but to live with me but I don't want her to be unhappy. I don't want her to skip school and fake sick days because she misses Callie. I want her to thrive. I want her to be the best version of herself. In order for her to do that, I have to leave. I have to take her to New York and begin a new life. One that focuses on bettering my career, and one that gives Sofia that ultimate happiness every child should experience. I know this isn't her fault. I know that the blame lies with me and Callie…but I can lessen the blow for Sofia, so that is what I'm doing. _I'm doing the right thing._

Before Herman arrived, I'd already made my decision. The fact that she has agreed to set up her new clinic with me in New York has only finalized my desire to leave. Okay, maybe it isn't a desire, but it has certainly helped me to come to terms with my decision. I can be a great surgeon wherever I am in the world and that is what I have to focus on. My abilities. My accomplishments. My figures. None of this is about being closer to Callie for me. None of it is about my ex-wife at all. She is happy with Penny and I accepted that a long long time ago. I too was happy over the years since we divorced but I was also burned. I was ghosted. I was forgotten about. So, all the more reason to up and leave, right? My daughter should be close to her other mother and I'm okay with that. Nobody else matters in this. Nobody else even comes close. Not Carina. Not the hospital. Not my friends. Sofia is who I'm doing this for and I know she is going to be beside herself when I tell her we are moving closer to her Mama. She will be overcome with excitement. I can visualize it right now. The screaming. The smiles. Calling Callie to tell her that she is coming home. At least, back to the city. Back to the streets, she has come to know and love.

It will be hard going at first since Seattle has been home for the best part of ten years, but this is going to be good for me. I can feel it. I don't have any doubt whatsoever and I know that once the clinic is set up and we are ready to go full force, every decision I will have made in my life will have all made sense. Wherever my job is, I can be me and I can do what I was born to do. What I've spent my entire adult life perfecting. I don't need to be in a particular place to call it home. My home is wherever my daughter is and that is about to become New York. _Who knows what the future holds, Arizona._ I haven't spent a great deal of time in New York but I know enough and I've experienced enough to realize that life is too short…and to let this place go.

Standing and slipping off my lab coat, I set it down in its place and shut off the light in my office. I don't want to linger here. I don't want to do the sad goodbyes or the wondering if I'm going the right thing. Stepping out of my office for the final time, I take one last glance around and pull my purse up onto my shoulder. Closing the door, I clear my throat and steady my emotions. I have a lifetime of memories here, but its time to move on. It's time to see what else life has to offer me. This isn't all I've got, I know that much.

A smile curling on my lips as I take corridors slowly, my mind begins to wander. My memories. Callie. Mark. Sofia. _God, I feel like I've spent an entire life here._ Webber. Bailey. Herman. Boswell. _Okay, this isn't going to be as easy as I thought it would be._ April. Jackson. Baby Samuel. This is the place I met my one true love. The woman who gave me Sofia. This is the place I met the people I've come to know and love. _Alex._ My sweet complicated Alex. I'll miss him the most. Everything about him. His attitude. His inability to have manners for anyone or anything. _I wouldn't change him for the world._ He is also a different person now. He is married. He has a life and his one true love. He has that and I know that no matter where I am in the world, he will take care of this place. He will grow and he will continue to be an incredible doctor. I don't doubt that for one second.

Rounding the corner, I find myself on the PEDs ward and my heart feels heavier than it ever has. _Bad dreams, bad dreams go away…good dreams, good dreams here to stay._ Wallace. His incredible parents. That night. The night I told Callie I loved her. That is where it all began for us. Saying those three words to her is still the best feeling in the world. Sitting on her couch in her lingerie. I'll never forget that. I'll never forget anything I shared with my ex-wife. We may no longer be together but she's still my one and only. Calliope Torres leaves a mark wherever she goes and she stole my heart the moment I met her. She stole my entire life the moment I met her and yeah, she gave me the most precious gift of all…Sofia.

Mark Sloan. Shaking my head in disbelief, I still cant believe he isn't around anymore. He and Lexie would've made some beautiful kids. I sometimes wonder if he was still alive, would Callie and I have ever split? Divorced? He always seemed to be the voice of reason, even when I hated him. Even when he was interfering with my life and my relationship, he still spoke complete sense. Not many people have that effect on me, but Mark did. He always knew the right thing to say. Even when he was being an asshole. _I'll always miss his presence in my life. His words. His kind but irritating nature._

"Hey, Robbins!" A familiar voice pulling me from my thoughts, I turn to find Alex Karev standing behind me. "You got five before you leave?"

"Sure." I give him a nod. "Everything okay?"

"Nope." He shrugs. "Nothing will ever be okay if you aren't here." My heart breaking at his admission, I give him a sad smile and follow him into the lounge on the PEDs floor. _I'll miss this place._ Dropping down onto the couch beside him, he places his head in his hands and sighs. "You sure you're making the right decision, Boss?"

"Alex, I haven't been your boss in a long time."

"You'll _always_ be my boss, Robbins." He lifts his head a little, his eyes struggling to focus on my own. "You're the reason I'm still here. You're the reason for many things, actually."

"You're here because you worked your ass off, Karev." I place my hand on his own as he slumps back on the couch. "Don't ever forget that."

"But you're the one who told me I had this. You're the one who mentored me and stood by me time and time again. Just…I'm going to miss you, Arizona." Squeezing his hand tight, I hate this. I hate goodbyes. I've done well to keep my emotions in check and right now…I'm struggling. I didn't think Karev would have much to say to me but I was clearly wrong. Alex isn't the guy who reveals all of his emotions. He isn't the guy who lets it all out, his heart on his sleeve. It just isn't him. "I hope whatever you do, it makes you happy."

"I have Sofia." I smile. "It's hard not to be happy, Alex."

"Yeah." He gives me a smile of his own. "I'll miss that kid, too."

"She will miss you a lot." I tilt my head a little and study his face, a slight tear falling. "Hey, no tears." My own voice breaks. "I have to go now and I need you to keep this place from falling apart."

"I hate this." He clears his throat as he stands. "I hate losing the people I love."

"Me too." I pull him into a hug and he wraps his strong arms around me. "Me too." Releasing him, I straighten myself out and close my eyes. "Goodbye, Alex."

"Goodbye, Boss." Turning his back on me, I take that as my cue to leave and slip out of the lounge. He will cope. Hell, he will thrive…I can see it in him. Just like I did all those years ago. The rough and tough guy who didn't give a crap about anyone…turned into one of the best PEDs surgeons. Yeah, I did. Arizona Robbins turned Alex Karev into a superstar. _Not bad, huh?_

Approaching the elevator, I hit the call button and the doors open. My heart breaking when I step inside and find Webber with his back to the wall, his arms folded across his chest…I give him a small smile and he clears his throat. "You all done here?" He asks, his deep voice causing me to straighten out my appearance a little.

"I am." I glance his way and he gives me one of his comforting smiles. "It's been amazing, Richard. It really has."

"We were lucky to have you." He states. "I'd give up anything to keep you…"

"I appreciate that." I focus on the doors ahead of me. "You know why I'm doing this, though."

"And that is why I'm not trying to talk you out of it." He nods. "You know what is best for your daughter, Robbins. I know that."

"Thank you." My voice breaks. "F-For everything." I turn to face him. "For being my friend. For standing by me when I felt like I had nobody else. You made it all that little bit easier for me. It meant a lot." Brushing a tear from my jawline, I close my eyes and release a deep breath. "Just…thank you."

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat." He says with complete certainty. "You know what you have to do right now, though…" He gives me a knowing look.

"I do." I give him a full smile. "I gotta fly…"

"Damn right you do." The elevator doors open and we step out of it together for one final time. "You take care, Robbins." He pulls me into a hug. "And you know, if you ever decide to come back…your job will be waiting for you. _We_ will be waiting for you."

"Goodbye, Chief." Throwing him a wink, he will always be that to me. He will always be the one thing that has kept this place together. He is the father figure. He is the epitome of what this hospital is and what it stands for. He _is_ Grey Sloan Memorial and I'm going to miss him more than I care to admit. Heading down the corridor, I find the entrance to the hospital in front of me and it hits me square in the chest. _I'm leaving_. I'm _actually_ going.

The car crash. The plane crash. The leg. The divorce. I survived it all, but here I am…leaving the one place I figured I'd end my career at. The one place I felt safe even though so many of my colleagues have come and gone. I did, I felt safe. Gary Clarke may have forever tainted this place for each and every one of us, but I still felt safe and protected here. I know we have all had our ups and downs, but we all pulled through. From births and deaths…we all coped and we all managed. I don't know how, but we did. We did, and I wouldn't have wanted to cope or manage with anyone else other than the incredible people I call family inside this building.

"I hope you weren't going to leave without saying goodbye." Realising that I'm standing in the middle of the hospital all alone, I turn with a heartbreaking smile on my face. "I thought we meant more to each other than that, Robbins."

"April." I breathe out. "You are the one person I really didn't want to say goodbye to." I have to be honest with her. She wouldn't expect anything less than honesty.

"I don't want you to say goodbye, either." She steps a little closer, her eyes holding unshed tears. "Do you really have to go?"

"I do." I drop my gaze. "But I want you to visit. I _need_ you to visit." I say with complete certainty. "I need to stay in touch with you…"

"You've got it." She furrows her brow. "I, uh…I'm leaving, too."

"What?" My eyes widen. "Why?"

"Just…I have to." She shrugs. "Look, I know you have things to do but I was wondering if maybe I could swing by this evening…maybe with a bottle of wine?"

"I'd like that." I breathe out. "I'd really like that."

"Eight?" She raises her eyebrow. "Would that be okay?"

"Eight sounds perfect." I give her a full smile. "I'll cook, okay?"

"You don't have to do that." She waves off my suggestion. "I'm sure you have way too much to do."

"I'm still here a few more days and I could use your company, so I'll cook." I smile. "One final time…"

"Stop." She shakes her head. "I don't want to hear about final times or last memories together. I just…I want to spend the evening with one of my favorite people."

"You've got it." I agree. "I'll see you in a few hours." Watching as April turns on her heel and heads for the elevator, I take one final glance around Grey Sloan Memorial and release a deep breath. "One foot in front of the other, Robbins. That's all you gotta do…" Heading for the exit, I drop my head on my shoulders and try to avoid eye contact with anyone else. I don't want any more tears and I don't want anymore conversation. I've said my goodbyes over the past few days and the people I wanted to see today, I've seen. The people who truly matter have had their moment with me and now it's time to get out of here. It's time to leave and move on. With my daughter. My Sofia.

Stepping out into the parking lot, I give myself a moment or two to breathe and come to terms with what I'm actually doing. Sure, I know what is about to happen, but I just need a minute. A moment. I just need to say my own goodbye in my own time. Stepping out of view of the exit, I find myself leaning against a nearby wall. My palms settling flat against it, I close my eyes and a small smile curls on my mouth. _Eliza._ Yeah, I may hate what that woman did to me, but she meant a lot. She meant so much more than anyone at this hospital knew. Maybe more than she knew herself. I don't know where in the world she is or what she is doing, but I hope she's okay. I hope she is happy.

This is the spot where we first kissed. The moment when I told her that I didn't care about the others or what they would think of us. She was so sure that she didn't care about their opinions but I could see through that tough exterior. I could see that she did care. She cared so much. She cared…but then she left. Yes, I thought I meant more to her than that, but maybe she had her reasons. Maybe she didn't want to do the painful goodbyes like I've just done. I know there is so much more to it than that, but I'll let this be my lasting memory of her. That kiss. The nights we spent together. How she was a completely different person around me when we were alone. How those walls had slowly started to come down only for her to ultimately build them back up higher than ever before. _Eliza freaking Minnick._

* * *

Settled on the couch, April has been here a little over an hour and we have just finished dinner. Sofia is sleeping and Harriet is with Jackson this evening so we have all the time in the world to say our goodbyes. We can just relax and leave the day's events behind us for now. I know the time will come when I have to step on that plane, but right now, I'm still here. I'm here and my friend is sharing her evening with me…wine in hand. I know something is on her mind but I also know that she will tell me in her own time. I know that when the moment is right, she will discuss whatever she has going on in her head, so I'm not about to push her.

"You feeling okay?" I ask. "It's been a scary few weeks for you…"

"Yeah." She smiles. "I'm feeling good." Toying with her wine glass, she sips it slowly and I study her face. "It's going to be kinda weird without you here…"

"You think?" I wrinkle my nose. "I can't say I imagined I'd be missed that much."

"You are joking, right?" She snorts. "You are the only hint of happiness that hospital has."

"Well, I hoped you would take over from me but you're leaving too, so?" Narrowing my eyes, April shifts in her seat and faces me a little better. "What is that about?"

"I feel like I need to take a break." She admits. "So much has happened over the past few years and I think it just all came to a head recently."

"You mean the unusual behavior?" I raise an eyebrow. "I know that wasn't you but I didn't believe it was my place to question it."

"No, it wasn't me." She shakes her head. "I was close to the edge and I don't know how I brought myself back, but I did. Now I need to focus on myself. Just…give myself some time to think over everything, you know?"

"I do." I give her a sad smile. "You haven't given yourself the opportunity to deal with anything you've been through over the past few years so I totally get it."

"I knew you would." She takes my hand in her own and squeezes it tight. "I just wish you weren't leaving."

"In a way, I wish I wasn't leaving either, but then I think about it and I know that I'm making the right decision. Maybe a fresh start is exactly what I need. Maybe we both need that?" I raise an eyebrow. "You know, something new. Something challenging…a change of scenery."

"I need more than a change of scenery, but yeah…" She clears her throat. "I don't think I'm going to be taking time away from Grey Sloan. I'm giving my notice. I just have to speak to Bailey."

"Wow, okay." I breathe out, my eyes widening a little. "You've thought about this then?"

"I've been thinking about it since before the accident, Arizona." She smiles. "I guess the accident itself just finalized it for me."

"Mm, I guess it did." I sip my wine. "So, what are your plans?"

"I don't have any right now." She shrugs. "I have Harriet to think about."

"You do." I smile when I'm reminded how adorable her daughter is. "And you will figure it out. I'm just happy that you have Matthew by your side."

"I think he needs a change, too." She sighs. "He's really struggling."

"And how does that make you feel?" I furrow my brow. I know he recently lost his wife, but I'd like to believe that they are back together for the right reasons and not simply so April can be a shoulder for him to cry on. I don't want her to get her hopes up for him to one day drop things between them. "I mean, you guys are in love, right?"

"We are." She agrees. "But it's going to take time for him. For us both, I guess." Giving her a nod in agreement, I'd like to say I believe her. Sadly, I'm not sure I can. I also can't be the one to give my opinion right now. Not when they're figuring things out between themselves. When the time comes, if she needs or wants my opinion, she can have it. I know she knows that, too.

"You know you can call me if you ever need to talk, April." Its all I can give her right now. She has to figure this one out herself. I believe she is still in love with Jackson but I'm not sure anything will ever come of it again. Kinda like when Callie and I divorced and I had that hope in the back of my mind. It all becomes real when the person who was once your other half rolls up with someone else on their arm. It changes everything and I completely understand that. April will know what is right when the time comes. She will know, and she will work it out regardless. I have no doubt about that.

"I know." She nods. "So, what's the plan for New York?"

"Right now, I don't have one." I laugh. "I'm taking a few months out while Nicole gets everything figured out with the clinic."

"Sounds like a good idea." She agrees. "You could use a break, too."

"It's been a long time since I had a break, April." I breathe out. "I'm not sure I'd know what to do with myself."

"Nothing." She states. "Relax. Spend time with Sofia. Maybe even Callie, too."

"No, Callie has her own life." I shake my head as I focus on the almost empty wine glass in my hand. "I'm sure Penny wouldn't want me around."

"You are Sofia's mother, Arizona. She kinda has no choice."

"That may be true, but I'd never just put myself back in their lives." I refill my wine glass and follow it with a top up for April. "A lot of time has passed and they're happy. Callie will always be special to me, but she has a completely different life now. A happy one. One that I couldn't give her."

"Oh, Arizona." April gives me a sad smile. "I'm sure that's not true."

"It's okay." I roll my eyes playfully. "I come to terms with that a long time ago."

"I'm sure you made Callie happy." She tries to reassure me but it's no use. I know my actions caused all of what happened between us and I'm okay with that. I know what I did wasn't acceptable and regardless of how many times my ex-wife tells me she forgave me for cheating, I know it slowly ate away at her until the day we divorced. I can't blame her for that, though. "You know that…"

"At one time I did." I nod. "Things change and actions have consequences. Consequences I've faced and let go of."

"You're awesome." April pulls me into a hug. "And I'm going to miss you so much." Her voice breaking, sobs suddenly wrack her body and it breaks my heart. "So much, Arizona."

"Hey, don't cry." I pull back and give her a sad smile. "This is a good thing, April. What we're both about to go through is so good…amazing even." My dimples popping, she wipes the tears from her jawline and a small smile creeps onto her face.

"Yeah, you're right." She sighs. "I still wish we weren't so far away."

"I'm only a call away and you know that." I give her a knowing look. "You also know that you can show up at my door any time, any day."

"I'll hold you to that."

"You better had." I scoff. "I expect a random show up, I really do."

"Consider it done." April's smile widens. "I will be there when you least expect it."

"Damn right you will." Throwing her a wink, she drops back against my couch and sighs. "What?"

"Everything is changing…"

"Change will always come, April," I say with certainty. "How we deal with it is what matters most."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, I could sit and wallow at the fact that I have no choice but to take Sofia back to New York but I didn't. I realized I could change everything up by joining her there." I shrug. "Sure, I'm going to miss Seattle more than I ever thought I would, but all good things must come to an end, right?"

"I guess so." She agrees. "Still…it sucks." _Yeah, it does…but this is happening._

"So, I propose another bottle of wine and a movie before I finish packing up my entire life of crap here."

"I accept your proposal." April knocks back her wine. "Fill me up, Robbins."

"I'm glad you're here." Nudging her shoulder, she gives me a genuine smile. "This isn't the end of you and me, you know." Sensing that things are about to get a little emotional, I clear my throat and stand. "Fresh bottle of wine?" She gives me a nod before sitting forward in her seat and glancing down my body.

"Hey!" She points at me. "Before this night is out…I will try on that damn leg."

 _God, I'm going to miss this place so much…_

* * *

 **And that's a wrap for Arizona Robbins.**

 **Ten years of giving us all some incredible scenes and memories. I'm sad to see her go, but as she says…**

 **"All good things must come to an end."**


End file.
